Google Readers, Why Has Thou Forsaken Thee?

The first cut is the deepest...

OK, I'm not entirely sure if I'm correct in this assumption but I think that I may have inadvertently offended several readers with my recent post entitled, 'Maledications, tourettes and words of randomness'. 
Of course this was not my intention but it does seem as though some people on Google Reader, weren't at all impressed by my latest offering of incoherency, because five of them, that's right,  five of them had decided to unsubscribe and all on the very same day that that particular post went out.
Now maybe I'm being a little bit oversensitive to the whole issue but in truth, I'm not as depressed about this as I at first thought I would be. In fact my response to this openly wanton display of rebellion, has been quite a dignified one and that's because I believe wholeheartedly in the ethical decision for anyone to exercise quite freely, one's own right to inflict pain and mental misery on behalf of others. To say that I took the dissent quite well, is a bit of an understatement on my part. There were no moody fits thrown as befitting a teenager high on their own hormonal juices and neither were there any temper tantrums in sight. Of course there were a few tears shed but those quickly dissipated after the first five hours. (I dedicated an hour of weeping to each reader lost)

 

As for banging my head against the bedroom wall, well that only lasted a mere three hours, as I hugged myself forlornly in despair, whilst all the while screaming WHY LORD! WHY ME? WHY HAS THOU FORSAKEN ME? Before finally calming down long enough to wipe the blood  from off the walls...and the carpet...and my clothes... and just the small amount that had somehow sprayed across the back of the door. So all in all, I somehow managed to remain pretty calm.

After a while though, I soon came to realise, after the severe blood loss and through the pounding pain in my open and quite possibly septic head wound, that it wasn't so much the unsubscribing that bothered me but rather the reasons why.

As ever, my greatest fan and staunchest critic was on hand to offer me some much needed advice and support.

 I wonder why they decided to unsubscribe en masse?

 Because you suck.

 Maybe the whole placenta sandwich thing was a step too far.

 No, it's because you suck.

 Do you think that maybe I overstepped the boundaries with the catching your parents having sex thing?

Well I would just like to say EWW,  closely followed by URRGH, accompanied by a slight case of  REEEETCH! (Makes dry retching noises) Yes, that could be the reason...and because you suck.

 It was writing about a disability wasn't it? That's what really offended people, the whole spiel about tourettes.

 You may be right...but also I think that it may have something to do with the fact that you... truly... suck.

So now I'm beginning to suspect that writing about tourettes, stabbing kittens in the face and the eating of placenta, isn't quite as amusing to everyone else as it is to me.

I'm still confused as to whether it was the content or the subject matter that people seemed to have taken offence to.

 No it's because you...

 Will you just go away!! I've said this time and time again, I've  always regretted not selling  you to that Mongolian pig farmer when I had the chance.

Yeah, that's right, cos being verbally abusive to a child will get them lost readers back.

When I first started this blog, it was with the intention of showing how difficult life could be as a single parent but boy was that ever boring. Seriously I fell asleep more than a few times reading through my own posts, my head resting in a puddle of my own drool which dripped into the crevices of the keyboards and waking only after a few mild shocks had convulsed painfully around my body.  So the posts changed somewhat in order to reflect more of my personality, with a little bit of  the real me lovingly injected into each one. 

 Eww, that sounds nasty.

I admit that I'm not the best writer and my humour can sometimes err on the side of distasteful but that's exactly what I'm like out in the real world. Crude, lewd, foul mouthed (you should hear my mum when she's angry, she sounds like a navvy) and grossly offensive. What people don't know is that they are getting a much much much much more toned down version of who I am on this here blog.

Still the the whys and wherefores of no longer following are still somewhat clouded in confusion. Let us examine some of the evidence.

• Post about my Lady garden = New subscribers.

• Post about stabbing baby kittens in the face = Loss of subscribers.

• Post about the spawn doing a massive poo = New subscribers.

• Post about someone with a tourettes = Loss of subscribers

And so the list goes on. In all of them I maaaay have pushed the boundaries of what is acceptable juuuust a little bit. But what differentiates one crudity from another? I guess I'll never know.

Of course there could be a perfectly logical explanation for all those unsubscriptions. (which isn't really a word but I couldn't give a rat's arse)

 OH MY GOODNESS MOTHER! It was only FIVE people...FIVE. I bet you've been rejected by a lot more than five people in real life.

It could easily be A glitch in the system, or...er...mmm...oh....just let me think for a moment...ah yes...no...erm...ahh...Oh OK, I suck! 

Lily

*In all seriousness, I'm not after any words of sympathy, I just thought it would make a good post. I'm truly grateful to anyone who stays long enough to read this crap and so to you all, I say a very big THANK-YOU... Yeah and that includes you too Google Readers! :0)